So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
it's great music for shaving your balls
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
