I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
