we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
high people should be assigned attendants
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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