3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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