Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
