Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm bleeding and have questions
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
