C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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