adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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