70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She even gives head with a lisp.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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