how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
