my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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