so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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