"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
