Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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