I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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