I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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