Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
