I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
