Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
