If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We were destined to go to rehab together
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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