Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
