hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
