Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
