I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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