Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
