there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
