My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
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