I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
This is my gift to your gina
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
