i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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