Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
