the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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