I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
