He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
