At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
