its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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