Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
