im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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