Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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