So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
