okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
