My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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