I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Sponge bath it is.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
