It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i just google imaged poop.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
