Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
