And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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