fuck your aforementioned shoe
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
