I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
