Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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