Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
