Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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