im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
