I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Let's get the cat blown out
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
