But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
