my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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