When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
