He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
