Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
there is glitter all over my balls
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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