he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
