Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
