omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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