I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
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