I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
