Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
