You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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